S327: Escape Your 9-5 and Reprogram Your Mind for Success With Chandni Arora

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your 9–5 and wondered how to quit your job to chase a life that actually lights you up, this episode is going to speak to your soul.

I’m joined by Chandni Arora in today's episode of The Remote CEO Life podcast, founder of Inner Calling Coaching. Chandni spent 19 years in a multi-six-figure corporate career before walking away to follow her true calling. Now a certified mindset coach and master NLP practitioner, she helps women unlock their self-confidence and reprogram the subconscious mind to create a life on their own terms.

We share so many parallels in our stories - from high-pressure corporate roles to choosing freedom, both of us had to overcome fear, limiting beliefs, and shift our mindset to make it happen.

In this episode, we dive into:

- How Shandni used NLP to shift her mindset and step into coaching
- What to do when your version of success no longer fits your life
- How to reprogram the subconscious mind to break free from fear and guilt
- What freedom looks like after leaving your 9–5
- Practical tools to overcome limiting beliefs and take your next step
- Why failure is just feedback - and how to use it to your advantage
- The mindset needed to build a business that fits your life

If you're ready for a career change but fear is holding you back, this episode will help you reprogram your subconscious mind and believe it’s possible.

Connect with Shandni:

💻Website → www.innercallingcoaching.com

✨Instagram / LinkedIn / Facebook → Inner Calling Coaching

#reprogramthesubconsciousmind #howtoquityourjob #NLP #subconsciousmind #personaldevelopment #successmindset #manifestyourdesires #quityourjob

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Background
• 5:00 The Shift from Corporate to Coaching
• 9:43 Defining Success: Past vs Present
• 11:39 Breaking Point: The Decision to Leave Corporate
• 15:18 Building a Safety Net for Transition
• 17:00 Overcoming Mental Barriers and Guilt
• 20:20 Tools for Reprogramming Beliefs
• 23:26 Embracing Fear and Taking Action
• 24:27 Navigating the How: Practical Steps for Career Transition
• 26:55 Identifying and Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
• 29:34 The Journey of Self-Awareness and Personal Development
• 37:19 Defining Freedom: Building a Business Around Life

Transcript

Sophie Biggerstaff (00:00)
If you've been wondering how you can get unstuck and find the courage to leave a nine to five job and create a life of freedom, this episode of the Remote CO Life podcast is going to be your ultimate inspiration. Today I'm joined by Shantney Arora, who is the founder of Inner Calling Coaching. She is a mindset coach and master NLP practitioner

and spent 19 years working in a multi-six figure corporate career whilst raising two children before bravely stepping away to follow her true calling, which was helping women unlock their self-confidence, worth and clarity to build lives they truly own. Shadney's story.

resonated with me so much because I also quit my corporate nine to five to pursue my own calling, which at the time in all honesty, I didn't know what that calling was gonna be. But I did know that I wanted to create more freedom in my life, which I have absolutely done over the past five years, working as a business coach and consultant. As you can see, I live here in Thailand and it's been quite a journey for me to get here. It takes a lot of courage to leave a career that you know, and in some ways it's become your identity. For example, I was a fashion buyer for 11 years.

My most recent job was at Burberry. I managed a 380 million pound business. That was all I'd really known how to do since I started my career at the age of 17. So I really had to learn a new narrative when I went into the world of entrepreneurship and figure out how to step into this new season of my life, specifically shifting my mindset to believe that this life was possible for me, to believe that I could create the programs that I wanted to create.

So I had to go through quite a lot of subconscious limiting belief reprogramming in order to me to get the confidence to create my group program, the Freedom Model Method, for example, and feel strong enough in my abilities to guide people on their own journey from nine to five art to freedom seeker, which is what I cover in that course.

And this conversation was so great chatting to Shadni as she's been through a very similar transition to me. And in this episode, she shared so many great insights about how she transitioned from her corporate life to coach and why that shifted her definition of success. She definitely had to go on her own journey and shift out of her own limiting beliefs, but she also went through the trainings in order to help other people do that as well. So she's going to talk us through some of the mindset shifts that

helped her make that leap and what you can do also in order to reclaim your power and your freedom and create an online business that works for you and the lifestyle that you want to live. Because at the end of the day, that's what it's all about. That is why we're creating freedom. That is something that I truly stand for is that we should create a business around our lives, not build a business that we have to then figure out our lifestyle later. We want to put our life first, business second, because that is where the true freedom comes in. So if that sounds...

like it resonates with you and make sure you continue listening to the rest of this episode and let's get into it.

Sophie Biggerstaff (02:54)
Shandni, welcome to It Makes the O Life podcast.

Chandni (02:54)
Hi.

Hi Sophie, how are you? I'm great.

Sophie Biggerstaff (02:59)
I'm good, thanks. How are you? Amazing.

And you're in the Sunshine Coast in Australia and you've just told me that it is cold over there. I guess we're going into winter, right, in Australia. So it makes sense. But otherwise, how's it going over there?

Chandni (03:11)
He's so adorable!

Yes. Yes.

It's great, the sun's still out, was blue skies and it is setting now so it's getting a bit darker and cooler and yes, otherwise it's great. I mean, we still get to enjoy the beach even in winter here at the Sunshine Coast so I can't really complain even though I do say it's cold.

Sophie Biggerstaff (03:32)
Amazing.

Yeah, beautiful.

I know it's funny we had a little bit of a debate before we started recording what does cold mean for so many different people everyone's got very different tolerance but thank you thank you so much for joining me today and I brought you on today to talk a little bit about your journey from leaving your nine to five and finding that courage to start your own online business now I've gone a very similar journey as you in terms of actually leaving plucking up the courage to leave my job and create this whole new

life for myself and I understand that there's so many mindset shifts that you likely have to make and get out of your comfort bubble in so many different ways so I would love to hear a little bit more about your personal backstory.

Chandni (04:16)
Wow, so much in there, isn't it? And obviously you've said you've been through the same journey. So for me, it was about being in corporate for 19 years. And I think what changed was I loved my corporate role. I loved what I was doing till I had my kids. And then a lot changed after that, because, you know, once what I enjoy doing no longer fit the life I had.

after having my kids. So I had my kids and I would just sit there going, my gosh, I can't imagine doing the 12, 18 hour days that I was putting in at times before having kids after having them. So I would sit there, breastfeeding in the dark, wondering what else was there outside of the corporate nine to five. And deep down, I know when I went back after my first child, I was disconnected.

I was feeling like I was living someone else's life and you know what a successful life looked like for me and what I thought success was was very different pre-kids and post-kids and for the longest time I just you know pushed that aside and still showed up to work. I ignored those feelings.

I told myself I should be grateful, should just keep pushing through, you know, I need to be the dependable one, I need to provide for my kids, I was a high achiever, so I have to be that mum that made it all work. However, the truth is, I just couldn't keep pushing that aside and abandoning those feelings. And then eventually that just got louder and louder. And...

you know, the breaking point came when I sat there one night just in tears while I was, you know, sitting there in the dark going, I cannot go back to work again and feel like I'm doing this forever. So I started researching what else I could do. What else was out there? There had to be a different way. And then I basically stumbled across the coaching community and worked with the coach.

And after working with my coach, just went, my gosh, there's so much else out there. And I saw the breakthrough that I had, and then I decided this is what I want to do for other women as well. So when I basically started working with my coach, the biggest issue was I was stagnant. I was stuck in the same role that I had been in for the last five, six years. And I just...

didn't know how to move. And after working with her, I actually got the confidence to apply for different roles, all of them, which were promotions, applied for five or six roles. And I think I got four interviews and got three job offers of the four interviews I applied for. And then I got to pick the one that I wanted. And I was also able to negotiate and up my pay, even though those jobs were a promotion already.

And when I did that, I was just like, okay, I've got my confidence back. I feel like myself again after having kids, know, I've found my identity. And then I was just like, okay, I need to do this for other women because there is a lot of career coaching that you get offered when you're in the corporate world. However, there's not too much, that much of a whole of life coaching as I would describe it. So I decided I would do a life coaching certification.

and that's when I jumped into coaching. I started coaching my corporate buddies to start with and then I quit my 9 to 5 and there's a little bit of story to that which we can go into in a little bit. However that's when I actually decided to quit and yeah.

jump into my own coaching business after doing it on the side for a little bit as a side hustle while having my corporate role.

Sophie Biggerstaff (08:15)
Amazing. And just out of interest, what was your corporate job? What field were you working in?

Chandni (08:20)
So I was working in the banking and finance field for 12 years.

Sophie Biggerstaff (08:23)
Got it. Amazing. And you mentioned

that your version of success no longer aligned with you, right? Like you had this vision of what you thought success was for you and probably for other people. What did that look like back then? And what does that look like now?

Chandni (08:30)
Yeah.

Oh, love this question. Back then, success to me was ticking all the boxes, you know, getting the promotions, having the high profile job, having the career, having, you know, the status and working in corporate, having the mum that had it all together, who was providing for her kids. And that to me was success. And that was success on the outside, right? What other people saw. However, right now, when I look at success,

To me, it's all about, can I be there for my kids? Can I still run a business and make enough money without having to sacrifice the freedom and the flexibility that I have with my kids and the time I get to spend with them and my husband? And success looks like going on an overseas holiday once a year without having to take permission from anyone to like, you know, take that time off to travel with my kids and my family.

Sophie Biggerstaff (09:38)
Yeah, that's a nice way of putting that because you don't want to be asking permission for these things, right? And it's like, there's so many, when you're in that corporate world, there's so many things that you don't even realise that you're missing out on, I guess. Like those little moments where it's like, okay, I just want to be able to take my kids to school. I just want to be able to take my kids on holiday whenever I want to go on holiday, that kind of thing. I'm sure there's other...

caveats and things that you have to take in consideration, but this life where you've got your own business does give you that extra level of flexibility.

Chandni (10:11)
Exactly. And right now we're on school holidays here in Australia. And basically what I've done is moved all of my podcast interviews, all my clients, all of the rest after five, six, seven in the evening. that then I've got the whole day with the kids to do what I want to with them during their school holidays. And then when we're home after dinner, that's when I can then start working. And it makes it great because I've built that flexibility into my business and I do work with international

clients as well so it works for them. I work with other mums that works for them as well because everyone's then widening down in the evening and it's just perfect the way I'm allowed for the flexibility to be built into my business as well.

Sophie Biggerstaff (10:53)
Yeah, absolutely. And you mentioned earlier, obviously you went through almost like a second lease of life in your nine to five, like where you move, we shifted into that, but then obviously you decided to ultimately leave that and take on your coaching career. Talk me through that kind of breaking point that led you to making that decision.

Chandni (11:10)
So I got, like I said, I got my promotion, negotiated up my payout, just like, woohoo, this is great. However, it was still like, you know, working in the corporate job. It was still the nine to five, it was still in the box. And then we went through a restructured work and I actually got made redundant as part of the restructure. And that sort of hit me hard. was just like, hang on. They can just let me go whenever.

It's up to them and I have no control over this and no control over whether I would like to stay on or not. However, I was still lucky even though my role got made redundant, I still got retained another role because they reached out to me and asked me if I could do something else for them. However, when I stepped into that second role that I was filling in for someone else's maternity leave, I really started having a deep

consideration about what I'm actually doing here. And is this what I really want? Because the coaching was a side hustle at the time and I was just, you know, coaching a few people in the evenings and they were through my work. And I was like, I really want to make this a business. And that's when, you know, calling coaching was born. When I decided I'm actually going to quit work. So it took me 12 months to actually negotiate a redundancy payout.

with my corporate career and then I got paid out for 12 years of working with them, which was really great. And then that really... No, no, no, sorry. So I was with them for 12 years. So I got a redundancy payout. I wish that would be great. I know I'm good. Not that good.

Sophie Biggerstaff (12:44)
12 years of payout.

⁓ okay. I was like, wow, you did some good negotiations there. Yeah, yeah.

Chandni (12:58)
So it was close to 18 months of basically my corporate salary that I got paid out as a redundancy, which was great because then that helped me set up the business and that was basically my safety net to go, okay, I'm going to make sure I make this work in whatever way I can over the next 18 months so that I've got that buffer.

Sophie Biggerstaff (13:21)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's something that often people get stuck on, right? It's like, I want to leave. I don't want to be in this 95 anymore. It's sucking all my energy or maybe get into the point where, you know, they felt like you and you're like, this doesn't feel aligned with the lifestyle that I am now living and like you're in a different season of life. So the job that was working for you before no longer is. And that's part and parcel of life. We go through seasons and we go through different times in our life where things are going to work, things aren't going to work for us.

Chandni (13:32)
Yeah.

Sophie Biggerstaff (13:50)
And we have to make conscious decisions in those moments of like, how are we going to move this forward into our next season and make it feels more supported? And I think so many people get stuck in this box and this nine to five bubble because they don't really see a way out of that. And, or maybe don't have the confidence to understand like what they could do until they're expanded into that world of saying, I could do what she's doing or I can do what he's doing or whatever.

Chandni (14:06)
Okay.

Sophie Biggerstaff (14:15)
it's very difficult to see a way out. And then the barrier that then comes is all but money. Like that's always, always going to be a barrier, right? If you don't have that financial security. And I think there's so many ways around that. And I would never, ever suggest someone to go and quit their job if they didn't have that backup option or some kind of safety net plan in place, because it just doesn't make any sense.

But there are things obviously that you can do. Obviously in your case, you, well, unfortunately because you got made redundant, but also fortunately because you were moving into this new phase, you had that cushion of like a year's pay, 18 months of pay, which is incredible. Like gives you so much flexibility to go and.

Chandni (14:51)
Absolutely.

Sophie Biggerstaff (14:56)
Start business that might take you six months and then you've got six months to test it and then if for whatever reason at the end of that six months you didn't feel comfortable then going all in you could maybe pick up a part-time job or whatever until you are comfortable with it, but I think a lot of people don't understand that just because you don't have a savings account in your bank like there are ways to kind of Bring bring in that safety net whatever that it's gonna look different for everybody depending on someone's circumstances, but I think you can if you know that

stepping away from your nine to five is something that you want to do. Building that safety net is super, super important. So how did that safety net help you in your circumstance?

Chandni (15:32)
Absolutely. So with me, like when I stepped away, I knew I had that. So I wasn't coming from a place of lack and a place of desperation in terms of, my gosh, this is make or break. And I also went in with a mindset of, I didn't let my ego get in the way where I just went, if this doesn't work in 12 months or 18 months, I'm okay to go back to work and get another job. I'd even like discuss this with my previous manager when I was telling

Sophie Biggerstaff (15:45)
Yeah.

Chandni (16:01)
him,

okay, I'm gonna leave, gonna, you know, set this coaching business up and we had a joke and I was like, I might come back knocking in 12 months and he's like, we'll happily have you back. So, you know, it was, I sort of had left all my options open. There was no ego coming into play. There's, and just because you've decided something's not working for you, there's no harm in going back and making, re-deciding what that next step should be. And that next step could be, like you said, getting a part-time job.

It could be downsizing your home. It could be selling all of the unwanted stuff that you have. It could be moving country and living in a place that's cheaper to, you know, then start your business and run it. So there's multiple ways to do it to make sure that you are feeling secure financially and backed. And also, I'm very blessed because my husband also has a job. So it wasn't, you know,

like we were going to be on the streets because he is also pulling in an income and that is also another backup and a safety net that I have too.

Sophie Biggerstaff (17:06)
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I think exactly what you said, there's always going to be an option, right? people use it as an excuse, but actually that's just an excuse to stop you from starting. And there is, if you have a will, there is a way, essentially is my motto in life. if you...

Chandni (17:07)
Okay.

I always like,

sorry, go ahead. My question is always, how can I?

Sophie Biggerstaff (17:24)
That was okay, carry on.

Chandni (17:28)
If there's something you want to do, how can you do it? And when you start asking that question, how can I, because I work a lot with the subconscious mind as well, your mind loves providing you with answers and solutions to your problems. So the more you ask, how can I, the more your brain and mind is going to find ways and solutions on how you can make it work, if that is what you really want to do.

Sophie Biggerstaff (17:29)
Exactly.

Absolutely, like 100%. I think we get so stuck in the narratives that the old narratives and sometimes struggle to come out of them. if like you just said, like if you can visualize it for you and you can reprogram those subconscious things that you need to reprogram, like there is definitely so many options for you. But obviously, when you when you pivot from like a nine to five corporate life and go into entrepreneurship that

doesn't just come with the financial pressures for somebody, it also comes with all of these mental pressures. And I know for myself, there was this whole internal dialogue of guilt, shame, pressure, all of these inner voices that were like, well,

Chandni (18:25)
Thank you.

Sophie Biggerstaff (18:35)
What is your ex boss going to think of this? Or like, what do your friends think of you? You're doing something so different to them. Da da da da da. Like a million and one thoughts. How did you shift out of that? Is that something you experienced first of all? Which I'm just going to assume yes, because I think most people do. But then how did you, how did you overcome it?

Chandni (18:47)
⁓

Absolutely. So to me, yes, there was definitely the guilt around, oh my gosh, I'm quitting my six figure corporate salary career to then go down to making nothing. And then there was all of the limiting beliefs that came up. Right. What if no one wants to work with me? What if it fails miserably? How am I going to put myself out there? There's a how, how, how, how, how am I going to do this? And that just keeps you this frozen for a time.

while, however, what I did was I actually went and got NLP training. So I'm also an NLP practitioner and NLP is neuro-linguistic programming for those that don't actually know what it is. And it's about working with the mind and your belief systems and your language, all integrating and tying all of that together to then

create an outcome and a goal and how you can work towards that. So my NLP training really, really helped me with that. And then I did a practitioner training when I had to become a master practitioner in neuro-linguistic programming. And that's when all of the shifts started to happen. That's when, you know, I worked through, had tools, techniques I could use to like release all the guilt, all the fear, all the shame, all the pressure, all the limiting beliefs to then go after this big goal.

that I've set for myself and I'm not there yet so it's still a work in progress till I hit that.

Sophie Biggerstaff (20:22)
think it's always going to be a work in progress because even when you hit that goal, that's going to be a new goal, right? And it's like up leveling again. but it's great that you have those tools. I mean, I'm not qualified in NLP by any means, but I've done a lot of that work and a lot of the subconscious reprogramming work. So I fully understand what you mean. And I don't think I would have been able to do so many of the things that I have done in my life and in my business, in my relationships that I have done. Had I not of.

Chandni (20:24)
always.

Sophie Biggerstaff (20:49)
reprogrammed some of those beliefs and thoughts.

Chandni (20:51)
100 % and like if someone's thinking of what other questions that I can ask myself to really get over this is you know you've got all of your limitations you've got your fear your pressure your guilt your everything that comes up and I think there's three key questions people can ask themselves it's what am I really afraid of losing whose permission am I still waiting for to do the thing that I want to do and

What if it's safe to choose what lights me up?

And really answer that for yourself and that will help you rewire your old beliefs as well.

Sophie Biggerstaff (21:22)
amazing.

Definitely, it's all about reflection, Like an NLP is definitely all about like diving deep into like your inner being ⁓ and understanding yourself, first of all, like figuring out like what is actually holding you back, because some people aren't self-aware enough to know that. And then figuring out exactly what you say, like diving into those deeper questions and trying to figure out like, how can you shift through these thoughts? How can you shift through these mindsets and beliefs that are holding you back and move you?

Chandni (21:32)
One minute.

Thank

Sophie Biggerstaff (21:58)
into the next phase of life that you so desperately want to be in, but all of these things are holding you back.

Chandni (22:03)
Fear is always going to show up right regardless of what you do It's always going to be there. So it's about how do you then lean into that fear? know that it's there and the reason the fear is there is because Whatever you're doing means so much to you because if it didn't mean anything the fear wouldn't be there at all You would just be like, whatever. I'll just go for it and see what happens However, the fear is there to remind you about how important

Sophie Biggerstaff (22:07)
Mm-hmm.

Chandni (22:33)
this next step is for you. So it's all about yes there's fear, lean into it, still take whatever the smallest step is to like make that action and that goal a reality because action and momentum is where the courage builds up and then fear is always going to be there however it's about moving forward in spite of the fear or with the fear.

Sophie Biggerstaff (22:59)
Yeah, I agree. So it sounds like you had all of the good mindset tools and the mindset stuff to help you shift into this into this career move. But you also mentioned that you had all of these questions around the how. So how did you what did you do to figure out the how part? Because obviously there is an element of shifting through it in your own internal narrative. But there's also practical steps, right? They need to be taken practical actions that you have to take it goes hand in hand. So how did you learn how to take the practical action steps?

Chandni (23:07)
Yeah.

No.

So there was obviously a point in time when I was figuring all of this out. I just went in this crazy loop in my head. I was like, my gosh, what have I done? How can I do this? I don't know if I'm what did, I don't know if I'm capable, I don't know if I'm gonna make it work. How am I gonna bring in the clients? How am I gonna do this? However, what I did was, and a tool I used was I did something called a How Clearing.

and how clearing is basically just sitting there and writing down all of the hows that come up. You don't have to have the answers to that. However, it's out of your head onto paper. And then that just clears so much in your head because once it's there, it's just about just free flowing and writing it out and going, how do I do this? How do I that? And the answers don't need to be there. However, you will find them and you don't have to have it all figured out. You just need to take the first step that you

see in front of you and then the next step will just become clear and then it's just one step after another and it's just basically about learning how to walk right.

Sophie Biggerstaff (24:33)
I love that you've just given us a really

clear practical step that we can take. And you also gave one earlier also around like the prompts to question yourself and dive deeper. So you've given us some really great nuggets of information of how we can use some of these NLP practices in our lives, in our businesses, in our goal settings, everything. But I know you've got a free tool.

called Overcoming Limiting Beliefs. It's a guide that listeners can tune into, I believe. Is there something that you can recommend from that? That somebody that's sitting there thinking, want to break free from my nine to five, I have a bit of a safety net, I have all of the perfect circumstances to take the action, but they're just still holding back and it's probably a subconscious belief that's holding them back still. What is the first thing?

that somebody needs to do to overcome those limiting beliefs and start moving towards that life that they want and the freedom that they desire.

Chandni (25:20)
Mm-hmm.

So I think the first thing people need to do is identify what their limiting beliefs are.

So that, and I think I kind of mentioned this in the first, the questions that I asked earlier as well in terms of what are you afraid of? What permission do you still need? What is safe? What is it that's really stopping you from doing the thing that you want to do? So I think awareness is the key. So once you know what your limiting belief is, then you can figure out where did this come from? Is there any evidence to actually support this limiting belief? Or is this something that I'm making up in my

and once you've whether it's true or false because 90 % of the problems we make up are not real. So it's all in your head and once you've got it all out, you've identified what it is, you're aware of it, it's then about working through that and saying where is this coming from, is this really real and...

Sophie Biggerstaff (26:09)
Makes sense.

Chandni (26:26)
what do I need to do and what's one small step I can take today to actually do the thing I want to do.

Sophie Biggerstaff (26:34)
I fully back everything you're saying. Like I say, I have done some of these practices myself. And I would say that there's a membership that I'm part of and all part of that. It's actually a manifestation membership, right? But as part of that, the whole concept that she lives by for manifestation is that you have to reprogram your limiting beliefs and tap into the NLP practices in order for you to actually get your manifestations. It's not just about like,

thinking and dreaming and writing down, vision boarding and taking, even taking action towards it. If you don't believe it to be possible for yourself, you're not getting it, right? So I've done this work probably for like three and a half years at this point. So I'm quite deep into the things that you're talking about. Like it resonates fully with me. And before that, I'd already started my business. So I hadn't actually done any of this work like when I was first starting, but I was conscious of the things.

Chandni (27:07)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sophie Biggerstaff (27:26)
that were potentially holding me back because I had also done cognitive behavioral therapy, which in some cases, there's a lot of crossover, right? Like in the things that you're talking about in terms of like finding evidence to and for and against. So like those practices I had already done. So I was already somewhat self-aware, but not as self-aware as maybe I could have been. And like, since I've started doing the NLP work, it is, I'm so self-aware. Like I would say like I'm out of...

most people I meet, would say that I have a very high degree of self-awareness around like exactly what is holding me back. But it's a blessing and a curse, right? Because I can fix those things, but it's also a curse because I'm like, oh God, another thing I need to work on.

Chandni (28:06)
Because

it's never fully done, right? And like, this is something I heard from someone like it's, that is the reason why it's called personal development, not personal done. It's constantly like evolving, you're constantly developing and you're never really truly done with any of your development, whether it's in life, business, relationship, kids, whatever it is that you know, you're getting involved with.

Sophie Biggerstaff (28:10)
Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true.

No.

Chandni (28:34)
NLP

can be used across the board to clear your limiting beliefs in each space and stage and area of your life as well. And another one I really like to use with my clients is flipping the script. So when you sit there and go, I'm not good enough. I'm not capable enough. It's about stopping and going, yes, find the evidence to back that up. Most times there isn't any. And if you do find it, it's about then flipping the script to go.

Okay, I don't know this yet and I'm not good enough yet. However, I am learning and I'm growing and I'm developing into getting the skills I need to get there. Also reminding yourself that everyone started from the bottom. ⁓

Sophie Biggerstaff (29:18)
I had to really go through it recently because I started learning,

well not recently actually, I started learning Spanish like two years ago and I'd always be like, I'm so bad at and like my ex was Spanish and he, or a Spanish speaker, and he was like, Sophie, you're not bad at Spanish, you're just a beginner, like you're just, you're like a baby, like you're just learning. And yes.

Chandni (29:26)
Yeah.

Absolutely.

Sophie Biggerstaff (29:44)
So I was like, that's a really good shift because up until that point, like whenever I decided to start something new, was like, I'm bad at it. And it's like, no, you're not bad at it. You just need to, you just need to learn how to do it. That's the basic rule of life.

Chandni (29:52)
Yeah, I'm

going with that beginner's mindset, right? Know that you're going to be really shit at it to start with. Everyone's shit to start with in terms of whatever they start. And then it's all about developing the skills, practicing, making it, refining it, doing the thing. And as you do it more and more and more, it just gets easier to get it done. It's like...

Sophie Biggerstaff (30:04)
Yes.

Chandni (30:18)
baby walking and I know a lot of people use that analogy. The baby doesn't get up and take one step and fall down and go, I'm shit at this walking stuff, I'm never going to do it again. They don't do that, they get up and keep trying and keep going.

Sophie Biggerstaff (30:22)
Yeah, ⁓ definitely.

No, absolutely. and practice

does make perfect, right? In all cases.

Chandni (30:39)
100 % and also it's not failure till you actually stop trying to do the thing. It is only failure once you quit and you've given up.

Sophie Biggerstaff (30:45)
Same thing, absolutely.

Exactly. I fully agree with you. It's funny,

since I've been living here in Thailand, I've really picked up the game paddle. And when I first started again, I was like, I'm crap at this. Like, I don't know how to play paddle. And I, to test myself, I entered into a tournament and I've literally at this point played four paddle games. Like, I really have no technique. I don't know what I'm doing. played racket sports really in my life.

but I entered into this tournament and the first game, I, what I very quickly realized is that even though it says beginner tournament, all of these are not beginners. They're advanced beginners if they're beginners. but I'm, I'm sat there and I'm like, my God, like, what am going to do? Like all of these people have clearly been paying paddle for a long time. They had the outfit, their own bracket, like all of this stuff. And I go, I, I rock up to my first game and I'm terrible. I'm, I'm absolutely terrible. Like because I'm one, I'm nervous because I know that everybody else.

Chandni (31:37)
Thank

Sophie Biggerstaff (31:43)
knows exactly what they're doing. But two, I'm just like, I know that I'm not qualified to be here. Like this, this is actually like terrifying. So like, obviously when you don't believe in yourself, you start, you start like not basically performing as if you don't believe the way that you, your self belief thinks that you should be performing. So I started off like a terrible game. then obviously in the tournament, you pay eight games and I carry on playing. And as I get

going and like depending on who I'm playing with, I'm getting slightly better every single time. And I'm like, okay, like I start having a little bit of extra self belief, which makes me even more determined to do it. And it's almost like I'm reprogramming my self belief as I, as I go around this court, as I play each game. And it was so funny. I came last in the tournament, which was obviously expected. However, the guy that I played with first, like, cause you change, you change partners on every, every game.

And the guy that I played with first, he made a point of coming up to me after the game and he was like, Sophie, when you first started, I thought you had no hope. He was like, you were really bad. Like you were playing terribly. You've got no technique, whatever. He was like, but I've watched you play all of your games. And I can honestly say you have like improved so much because I could see that your confidence was building and your self-belief was building the whole way through.

Chandni (32:45)
You

Sophie Biggerstaff (33:01)
And then finally, it feels like you've kind of got into it and you're learning exactly what you need to be doing. And I could see the growth in you through that period of time. And it's just like purely out of my, I could have left the court right and been like, no, this is just like too much. This is so embarrassing. I can't play against these people. But I just chose to go and I actually learned so much from all of these people. And I think there's two things there. It's like one, I got expanded into players that were playing really well. So I was like, okay, let me see if I can keep up.

Chandni (33:26)
Hmm.

Sophie Biggerstaff (33:30)
And two, I just pushed through my own limiting beliefs, because internally I was like, my God, you can't do this. What are you doing? But I just kept going. So I think there's so many examples we can use in our day-to-day lives and then transfer how we've got through those even just like silly little things like that, like in our businesses as well.

Chandni (33:47)
Yeah, absolutely. And I like to always say, like, look at failure as feedback. And if you want to do something, fail fast at it. So, you know, for example, if I told you, hey, Sophie, if you play 50 games of paddle, you're going to be world number one paddle. How fast would you get through those 50 games?

Sophie Biggerstaff (33:52)
Definitely.

Yeah, exactly.

Chandni (34:09)
you knew

so you would fail 50 times knowing that you would then get to world number one so I love using that and looking at that going okay the more I fail the more feedback I'm getting the more I can improve the better I'm gonna get and then I'm finally going to do the thing that I want to do and be where I want to be

Sophie Biggerstaff (34:15)
Yeah.

Absolutely. Failure is just part and parcel of the process, right? Like it literally is. You only really learn from failures because if you're constantly on a run, on a win, like what are you actually learning? Like, yeah, you can see what works, but that doesn't mean it's going to work for you in a year's time, two years time, like life and business changes so quickly.

Chandni (34:30)
I don't know.

Sophie Biggerstaff (34:47)
that you have to go through some failures to really get clear on like one, what you want, what you don't want and how to do it next time. So I fully believe that as well. Like failure would definitely is feedback. Yeah. And using it to motivate you going forward. Like you don't fail and then be I can't do this. So let me take 10 steps back. It's like, no, I've learned all of these things from my failure. So I'm going to use that to move myself forward. That's how you use failure. And it's such a big thing in my life that I'm like, I failed so many times.

Chandni (34:56)
It's about feeling forward, right? Yep. yeah. ⁓

Yes. Yeah.

And so let's get in.

Sophie Biggerstaff (35:15)
countless, countless, countless times in so many different ways, so many different aspects of my life. But every single time I look back, and thanks to quite a lot of the practices that I have from a neuro reprogramming perspective, I can really analyze them and understand exactly what I need to be to not let it get into that narrative that could get into my head of being like, well, you can't do this, you're not good at this. It's like, well, no, okay, let's understand it. What did I need in that moment in time? What can I do differently next time? All of these things and...

Chandni (35:28)
Yeah.

Sophie Biggerstaff (35:43)
move forward and hopefully do it fail better next time.

Chandni (35:47)
Absolutely.

Sophie Biggerstaff (35:51)
So good. Well, thank you so much. That was super, super insightful on everything we need to know about kind of reprogramming our limousine beliefs to actually move us forward in business and in life. I would love to know something I ask everybody that comes on is around freedom because it's a really big value of myself and why I started my own online business, why I help other people start in my business to help them gain more freedom in their life.

Chandni (35:53)
Thank

Sophie Biggerstaff (36:13)
I would love to know what freedom means to you and if you could help us see what did freedom look like for you before you quit your job and what does freedom look like now you have your coaching business.

Chandni (36:13)
Yeah.

to me freedom is, and I think I've kind of just like said this earlier, however freedom to me is being able to do what I want when I want in a way that I want to now and be able to have that time and flexibility spent with my family and my friends and doing the things I love doing and also building my business around my life rather than the other way around. in the corporate world when I was working

in corporate, I had to build my life around my business and my work and that didn't feel free and that wasn't freedom to me. So to me freedom is having that flexibility to do all of the things that I love to do and then build my business around that because then that also makes it so much more enjoyable, so much more fun and when I am working in my business it doesn't feel like work, it feels like fun. Like this is still business for me and this is still work for me and I'm loving this conversation with you.

you

Sophie Biggerstaff (37:24)
Amazing. I love that. Yeah, I fully,

fully agree. It's like build a business around your life. Like that is my whole concept. Everything that I teach in, all of the things that I do now, it is very much like build a business that works for life because you can build a business and focus it on your financial goals or your success goals, whatever that looks like for you. But ultimately, if it doesn't work for the lifestyle, you want to

live and lead, it doesn't, it's not gonna work. Like you're gonna end up a year, two years down the line, presenting what you do, probably as much as you presented your nine to five. So it really is important to build a business that works with lifestyle, particularly as you said, you kind of went through different phases, like before and after you had children and you know, life changes when you have kids, like that's, that's just a fact. And it's

Chandni (38:03)
⁓ jeez. I kind of

miss having the freedom pre-kidz now. There was a lot more and I didn't appreciate how free I was when I had my kids. And I love having kids and there's still a different type of freedom that you have with that as well.

Sophie Biggerstaff (38:08)
Thank you.

haha

Yeah, absolutely. But it's really nice that you've been able to come

kind of and create that for yourself. So go you really happy to hear your story. And thank you so much for sharing it. If anybody wants to connect with you and maybe get hold of your free download around limiting beliefs, how can they get in touch with you?

Chandni (38:40)
They can just hop onto my website and my website is called Inner Calling Coaching. So it's [www.innercallingcoaching.com](http://www.innercallingcoaching.com/) and there's just a button they can click on the website to download that free guide to support them through this. And of course I'm on all the socials, which is Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, all under Inner Calling Coaching as well.

Sophie Biggerstaff (38:58)
Beautiful.

Amazing. Sounds good.

Thank you so much for sharing that and everything that you've shared in today's episode. I really appreciate your time and looking forward to going and reprogramming even more of my thoughts off the back of the back of this conversation.